Aging parents are often the targets.  

Our aging parents have it tough enough in many aspects. It’s even worse that people try to scam them.

The phone call from someone who says their grandchild needs money. The email that says their account has problems. The text messages that ask for help.

Heather Massey with the Better Business Bureau talks with Kim and Mike Barnes of Parenting Aging Parents about how scams have evolved and what can be done to protect your aging parents from falling into a scammer’s trap.

Read the full transcript

Transcript of Interview: “Beware of Scams”

Mike Barnes:

You know, the scary thing, especially for our aging parents, is that the scams are getting more and more intricate and clever, and it’s hard to tell when they’re really a scam.

Kim Barnes:

Absolutely. So, we are bringing in Heather Massey from the Better Business Bureau to go over some of the most common scams, the ones that we can warn our parents about and be on the lookout for ourselves. Thanks so much for being with us.

Heather Massey:

Thanks for having me.

Mike Barnes:

Let’s start with what you are seeing as the newest trends and scams.

Heather Massey:

Well, the impersonation scams—we want to say these are new, but they’re not. They’ve been around; they just change. You know, we all know the IRS scam where you get the call that you owe back taxes, and they’re threatening to put you in jail, which is very scary. So, we urge people to just not panic when they receive calls like this or even caller IDs that show maybe it’s a government agency calling. Unfortunately, you can’t trust who’s on the other end of that line, so we urge people to be patient.

Kim Barnes:

To me, the hardest thing there is that, like my dad for instance, if he got a call and someone said, “I’m with the IRS, you owe us thousands of dollars,” he would laugh and hang up. But if someone called him and said, “I’m with your wife and she needs X and Y and Z, and it’s going to cost a couple thousand dollars, can I get your credit card?” I’m afraid my dad would say, “Oh yeah, anything for her, here you go.” So, what can we do to help our parents see that they need to take that extra step of precaution?

Heather Massey:

Just don’t panic. If you need to pay two thousand dollars, you don’t have to pay it right then. You can still pay it in 30 minutes or two or three days later. That sense of urgency and panic is really how they get people to hand over their personal and financial information. So, it’s encouraging to tell them to take a pause, ask questions, and actually call the agency back directly to find out if this is legitimate or a scam.

Mike Barnes:

So, tips for them would be to not take the information from the caller, like don’t take a phone number from them if they say, “Call the IRS back.” Find the number from the website or another trusted source.

Heather Massey:

Yes, correct. You can go into your favorite search engine or, if you’re sure about the agency, look up their contact information directly. You can also reach out to friends and family, ask them questions, and say, “Hey, I received this phone call, I’m really unsure,” and let them walk you through it. A lot of us get embarrassed and don’t want to ask for help, but there is nothing wrong with asking for help and verifying that information. It’ll definitely protect you in the long run.

Kim Barnes:

In addition to the IRS or other government entities, I’ve also heard of cases where someone will say, “Hey, this is the jail and your grandson is in jail.” That’s another one. With the prevalence of artificial intelligence, how is that coming into play in terms of impersonating a loved one’s voice? Is that becoming an issue?

Heather Massey:

It is, and this scam has been around for a while but is getting very sophisticated. Previously, scammers would call and say, “Hey, I’ve got your grandson, he’s in jail.” This actually happened to someone I spoke with. The person didn’t have their hearing aid in, so they were a little unsure. The scammer knew what to call them, like “Mimi” or “grandmother,” and went into a long story. The person on the other end hung up, reached out to their son to verify, and found out that the grandson was safe at home. With artificial intelligence, voice recognition is almost spot on now, so you really have to rely on your instincts. Don’t panic, take time, hang up the phone, and reach out to the individual in question directly.

Mike Barnes:

Would it be a good rule of thumb to never give out personal information when somebody calls you? It’s different when you call the credit card company using the number on the back of the card and they want to verify information. But if somebody’s calling you and asking for account numbers, Social Security, or driver’s license info, is that a huge red flag?

Heather Massey:

That is a huge red flag. Someone on the other end of the line calling about something specific, like your credit card company or mortgage company, doesn’t need that information because they already have it. You definitely want to take a pause and not trust anyone based on caller ID. It’s unfortunate, but you have to be cautious. If you receive text messages as well, they can be phishing attempts. I get them constantly from people claiming to be from different banks, some even from my bank. I always pause, leave it alone, and go directly to the website if I have questions.

Kim Barnes:

I’ve been getting so many text messages saying, “Your Netflix account is suspended,” or “We’re going to suspend your Amazon account,” or “FedEx needs to reach you.” On an iPhone, you can swipe to delete it and even report it as a scam, but they just come from a different number. So, those are helpful tips—don’t answer, don’t give out personal information if somebody calls you, and verify it by a third party or by calling the entity back directly.

Heather Massey:

Yes, exactly. Be careful answering the questions they ask, even when it might seem harmless. Personal information can be used to verify your identity. We all have those security questions, and they are common for most of us. A lot of people overshare information on social media. Don’t overshare your information, especially things like your car, first car, or pet’s name, which are often your security prompts. On most smartphones, you can go into your phone settings and silence unknown callers, which sends them directly to voicemail. If they need to get ahold of you, they’ll leave a detailed message, and you can call them back.

Kim Barnes:

That’s a great feature and might be something to set up for our parents. Sometimes, if it’s your dentist, it may not be in your caller ID, but they’ll leave a message. And for people at home who might be bored and want to talk, this can help them avoid those annoying calls. It’s important to weed out what’s important and save valuable time.

Mike Barnes:

There are a bunch of romantic scams out there. Tell us about those.

Heather Massey:

As social media connects us to friends and family, scammers also use it to take advantage and get money or personal information. On Facebook, scammers come into your instant messages, start romantic relationships, and take their time to get to know you. You feel like you have a connection, but it always ends with them needing something. There’s always a crisis, a sense of urgency, and they need money. People involved in these scams often get embarrassed once they figure out what’s going on and sometimes don’t see it. Take your time, make sure to ask people if they think it’s legitimate, and listen if they tell you it’s not.

Kim Barnes:

What should we be listening for when talking to our parents about picking up on these things?

Heather Massey:

If they’ve met someone overseas, in the military, a doctor, or doing humanitarian work, and they’ve made plans to visit but something always happens, that’s a red flag. They may need money to help a friend or family member. They will never generally video chat with someone; there will always be something wrong with their camera. They are very believable because this is what they do for a living. They have several people on the hook, just trying to make a living.

Mike Barnes:

I’ve tried to emphasize to my mom that these people taking advantage of others are very good and savvy. They know what to ask and what buttons to push to get someone’s attention. If she sees something concerning, I want her to tell me without feeling embarrassed. My mom has been scammed a couple of times with generosity scams. It’s important to have an open dialogue with your parent or spouse about these things.

Heather Massey:

It’s unfortunate that we can’t take people at face value like our parents could. It’s a different time, and we have to be on guard. Know these things to look for, and remember there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Scams can happen to anyone. We want to make sure to get the educational pieces out there and report scams.

Kim Barnes:

Let’s talk about generosity scams. In our situation, it was, “Can you buy these gift cards?” They transferred money from her savings account to her checking account, so she thought she had been reimbursed, and then asked her to buy gift cards and give them the codes. The gift card scam has been around for a while. What are some other scams like that?

Heather Massey:

The gift card scam is number one. They like Apple iTunes gift cards and anything similar. They also want money wired because it’s untraceable. When buying gift cards, turn them over and look at the back. If someone asks you to scratch off the number and read it over the phone, take a pause. Only gather money for those when you go to the checkout. Some local pharmacies and grocery stores monitor gift cards at checkout and question people if they notice them buying a lot at once.

Kim Barnes:

I was involved with Project Graduation years ago, buying gift cards for kids as prizes. Best Buy was very careful, limiting the amount you could buy at a time and requiring a manager’s approval if you needed more. It’s good that some stores are being mindful and aware to help prevent scams.

Mike Barnes:

Email is another way scammers get you. Clicking on those links can cause all kinds of problems. My dad, who has been great about not clicking on links, recently clicked on one and got scammed. It’s important to pause, call someone before doing anything, and find someone to bounce it off of to see if it’s true.

Heather Massey:

Before, you could often decipher scam emails by misspellings and odd wordings. Now, they look almost identical to legitimate websites, making them harder to detect. Hover over links to see if they contain foreign language or misspellings. If you get an email that looks suspicious, never click on the links. Go directly to the website or call the number on the back of your card.

Kim Barnes:

I’ve worked with my mom to help her see that you can make an email look like it’s from a legitimate company, but often the email address will be slightly off. Antivirus software companies, for example, won’t email you from a Gmail address. It’s just hard to sometimes see that.

Mike Barnes:

I think the best thing is to keep up with what’s going on. The scam tracker can help figure out what’s happening in your area. Tell us about that.

Heather Massey:

Scam Tracker is an interactive tool on our website. You can view scams happening in the US, Canada, and Mexico in real-time. You can pinpoint your location to see what’s happening locally. It’s a great tool for everyone to look at and warn friends and family about. If someone approaches you, even if you haven’t given them money, fill it out. It takes about 30 seconds to capture that information and is very helpful. If you’re unsure and don’t want to reach out to your kids, you can go into Scam Tracker and see what’s trending in your area.

Kim Barnes:

Is Scam Tracker on the Better Business Bureau website?

Heather Massey:

Yes, it’s at bbb.org/scamtracker. It’s a great way to find out what’s going on and notify others about your experiences.

Kim Barnes:

And it’s a great tool for the media. They use it to do stories and investigations based on the information we get. The only way to prevent scams is to keep putting the information out there. Scammers refine their skills and shift to new scams as soon as we catch on, so we have to keep talking about it to help stop them.

Mike Barnes:

Hopefully, this will help. Heather, some great tips. Thank you so much. I think you’ve helped a lot of people with this.

Heather Massey:

Thanks for having me.

Mike Barnes:

You’ve got to know there’s always something new coming out.  

Kim Barnes:

And starts the conversation with your parents to prevent the scams from happening.

Mike Barnes:

Hey, if you have any other tips, suggestions, or ideas for topics you’d like covered, let us know here on Parenting Aging Parents.

*This transcript is auto-generated. Please excuse any typos or mistakes.

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