Being prepared for an emergency

Transcript of Interview: “Being prepared for an emergency”

Mike Barnes:

I don’t think we can really help when our parents get a little bit older. We can’t help but worry about them, and we envision the worst things happening sometimes, like, “Oh no, I hope that doesn’t happen.” 

Kim Barnes:

Sometimes it does, so the more prepared you can be, hopefully, the easier that will be if something does happen. Today we’re going to talk to Beth Rowan of Evergreen Ally. Thanks so much for being with us.

Beth Rowan:

Thank you for having me. 

Kim Barnes:

When we think about preparedness in case of an emergency, where should we start?

Beth Rowan:

We should start with actually knowing what the benefit of an emergency preparedness plan is. That really is to give you the calm, the control, and the choices that people find they don’t have after enduring a crisis. I started my company, Evergreen Ally, after helping my parents rebuild their lives when their home was destroyed by a fire. So I intimately know the complexities of actually recovering and also how to endure the emotional, physical, and financial loss that crisis actually gives us.

Kim Barnes:

So when we’re thinking of an emergency, are we typically thinking of a fire or something like that happening to your home?

Beth Rowan:

It could be, but there are many different emergencies. That’s the first step, really, to evaluate: What am I at risk for? That can be a home disaster depending on where you live, if that’s weather-related. It can be medical if you have situations in your family where people are at risk. They might have a dangerous job, like teachers. Who would have thought that teachers would become a dangerous job? Medical risks could be involved if you have special needs in your home. Different things happen to different people, and that’s why I start with that as the first step. Sometimes the vast information we see out there doesn’t seem relevant. For instance, my parents lived in California, so people in New York might not think about wildfires, but we all live in buildings that could be at risk if our neighbor’s apartment catches fire. In Texas, they didn’t think they would have a freeze storm. We all have different things to consider, so that’s really the first step: think about what you are most at risk for.

Mike Barnes:

We always talk about planning. When Kim and I have speeches about our group, we always talk about discussing housing, financial matters, and legal issues with your parents. But talking about being ready for those disasters is something that you have to do. You have to be ready for it.

Beth Rowan:

Right. We’ve all heard of the “fight or flight” response, but it’s really the last one—the freeze—that most people experience. Most people just freeze when something happens. We all hear the stories after a flood: “I didn’t know where to go,” “I didn’t know what to do,” or even notices like, “I didn’t know if I should be listening to Facebook.” Our brain freezes us instead of reacting. Yes, a plan gives you the time to calmly think about situations. The focus is really the goal: What do I want to come out of this? Starting there is really important when you’re helping your parents because it’s uncomfortable. Parents don’t want to be a burden; they don’t like the idea of asking for help. So when you talk about this, it’s to give them the most comfort in their recovery and control over their outcome. That’s where people tend to say, “Okay, I don’t want this to happen. I want to be prepared.”

Mike Barnes:

Most people have the tendency to hear this and think, “Oh yeah, I should get a plan. That sounds like a great idea,” but then they think they’ll worry about it later. So how do you get them to actually take action?

Beth Rowan:

Sure. Thinking about what you have at risk and what is a risk to you usually addresses what you’re most afraid of. Financially, what is the biggest damage to you? And the damage could also be physical. When you start with those, it helps you think about one thing at a time and keeps you from feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks. With your parents, it is usually about the child or the family wanting them to be well. The next step after ensuring physical safety is thinking about where you’re going to go, how long it will take to recover, and what tasks need to be done, whether it’s a medical claim or an insurance claim. This is where you get your support network to help you out.

Kim Barnes:

Suggestions for what we do with our aging parents if they have the attitude of, “Oh, that’ll never happen to me. I don’t have to worry about that.”

Beth Rowan:

Well, a lot of it is their comfort. I’m sure you’ve already talked to your community about medications. It’s amazing how many personal things we don’t share, where the benefit of sharing is so that someone can help us out when we’re sick. Everyone should know about medications and who your key doctor is. The power of attorney and healthcare proxy are critical too. This is about people who are going to be effecting your wishes, fighting for you and what you want, not what they want. Evaluate who you feel you can trust and who is strong enough to put your parents’ wishes first. Communicate who it is, so besides just telling one child who your healthcare proxy is, it’s good to communicate to everybody. This gives the person the freedom to concentrate on your wishes.

A support network is essential for families caring for people. Know who you can call to help in different areas. For instance, if someone’s ill and recovering, having people bring you meals and just knowing that you can call someone and say, “I had a tough day, can you help out?” without having to explain everything. This extends to outings and emotional breaks. When helping my parents recover, I found that we get bombarded with information on social media, but it’s not accurate or helpful. We all need an emotional outlet. Have someone you can vent to without needing answers or suggestions, just a listening ear.

Physical safety is also crucial. We tend to think nothing will happen to our home. Home safety includes fire safety, slip and fall prevention, and knowing how to exit your home in an emergency. Talk about potential scenarios and your actions. If your neighbor’s house catches fire, what will you do? If you’re not feeling well, when will you call someone for help? It’s essential to consider all these aspects.

Mike Barnes:

How can you be prepared for chronicling all the stuff in your parents’ house? Keeping track of that is important too, right?

Beth Rowan:

Absolutely. When something happens and you get through the initial crisis, it’s the recovery and claim process that overwhelms people. Talking with your parents about their possessions can help. Where are their important documents? For instance, if your dad was in the military, there are pensions and other details you need to know about. Gather these documents and make sure they are accurate. Make phone calls during non-stress times to ensure you know what your parents are entitled to and how to claim it.

Discuss the home and its contents with your parents. What has emotional value versus what they think is valuable to pass on? List these items, even if it’s just on a piece of paper. This helps provide comfort to your parents and reduces overwhelm during difficult times.

Kim Barnes:

Could you just take your phone and video everything in the house, pointing things out? Would that be a good way to keep track?

Beth Rowan:

Yes, that’s very helpful for two reasons. First, it reassures your parents that everything is taken care of. Second, it’s useful for insurance purposes. If something happens to your home, a detailed list with brands and pricing is helpful, but a video can be even more valuable.

Documenting with your parents also means putting your eyes on important papers. If there were divorces or deaths, ensure beneficiaries are updated. This can prevent lengthy probate processes depending on your state. Listing financial assets with beneficiaries is quicker and avoids probate, even if they are mentioned in the will.

Mike Barnes:

There’s a lot to keep track of and remember, but it makes a huge difference in helping our parents manage everything.

Beth Rowan:

Plan and prepare. Think about your priorities. If you want to ensure you don’t lose anything financially, start with big-ticket items and policies. If it’s about keeping a calm environment, think about where the person will go and how to help out. Consider your recovery process and what’s best for you, then start there.

Kim Barnes:

Plan, prepare, and prioritize. Those are the three P’s.

Mike Barnes:

So you don’t freeze and know how to react.

Kim Barnes:

Thanks for the great tips, Beth. We really appreciate it.

Beth Rowan:

Thank you so much.

Mike Barnes:

It’s hard to think about all these things and make sure you know everything you need to. Unfortunately, crises do happen, so you have to be ready for them. If you plan, prepare, and know your priorities, you might be ready for it. We invite you to let us know if you have any topics you’d like us to discuss and talk to an expert about. Parenting Aging Parents.

*This transcript is auto-generated. Please excuse any typos or mistakes.