Tech Tools That Make Long-Distance Caregiving Easier

Transcript of Interview: “Tech Tools That Make Long-Distance Caregiving Easier”

Mike Barnes: [00:00:00] I think technology can be so helpful when we’re trying to care for our parents because there are so many options out there. I know it’s helped both of us tremendously.

Kim Barnes: Especially when you are living hours away from your parents- Yes … like both of us do. And we look for tools that can help make this a little bit easier.

Two of our favorite tech tools we’re gonna introduce you today, they are JubileeTV and MemoryBoard, and we both use them ourselves- and are so pleased to be able to share, more about them, and we’re so glad that they are partnering sponsors of Parenting Aging Parents as well, and we think these are tools that could be really useful for you as well.

First, we’re gonna talk to Michelle Wright from JubileeTV. Thanks for being with us today.

Michelle Wright: Hi, Kim and Mike. Thanks for having me.

Kim Barnes: You know I’m such a big fan. I use JubileeTV almost daily with my mom.

Mike Barnes: All the time.

Kim Barnes: All the time. And it has really helped so much because I can control my television. Her television, sorry.

I can control her television from the app on my phone. I can check in on her. What are the features that you [00:01:00] think, are so beneficial, especially when you’re caregiving from afar?

Michelle Wright: Yeah. Absolutely. So part of the JubileeTV system is a little device that connects to Mom’s existing TV setup. And then as you said, it lets a family member, provide support and connection through an app on their phone.

so some of the things that are super helpful, whether that family member is across town or across the country, right, is the ability to control the TV remotely. So you can actually see what’s on the TV screen and then put on any show or content. So for families, especially there might be, maybe one family member lives close and does a lot of the kind of day-to-day care, and then there might be other family members who are far away, and maybe those folks are kind of the, the tech support folks, right?

and so this gives those folks a way to, really get engaged and help out even [00:02:00] though they’re not there in person. and then two other ones are the ability to video call to the TV. and the kind of nice thing is that we can automatically start that video call if Mom is not able to, you know, press buttons on her own.

Yeah. so that makes it really easy to just, we can turn on the TV and we can start that call without her having to do anything, which is amazing. And then there’s also the ability to drop in. so that lets us just check in. I know you use this one a lot, Kim. and again, when we’re, when we can’t be physically present, it’s a really nice way, especially if she’s not answering that phone, I can just drop in and I can see and hear her in that living room space.

I can make sure everything’s okay without disturbing her. Folks are often using that. “Oh, I’m gonna drop in. Oh, she’s napping. I’m gonna wait to video call,” or, “I’m gonna drop in and she’s watching tennis, so actually I’m gonna video call right now.” so it just gives, us these [00:03:00] tools to be able to provide a little support and kind of feel like we’re there even though we’re not physically there.

Mike Barnes: Yeah. Before I start telling stories about Kim’s mom, no offense. I’ve seen firsthand exactly why she’s needed it for, especially for the, the cable TV type of thing, DirecTV or whatever it is that you’re using. But what have you seen? What do people that you see that need it so badly, what do they go through and they go, “Oh my goodness, I need this”?

Michelle Wright: I think anyone who has tried to help a parent troubleshoot their TV over the phone can understand why this, right? Oh. It’s like whenever I talk to anyone it’s almost that if you know you know situation, ’cause you’re like… There’s a funny comedian who talks about it, likens it to like trying to diffuse a bomb, where you’re like, “Okay, press the blue button, n- and not the, red button.

Press the blue button.” You can’t see what you’re doing, and they c- they’re trying to describe it to you, and it’s frustrating for them- Yeah … and it’s frustrating for you. so I think [00:04:00] that ability is just a ton of stress relief for folks.

Mike Barnes: Yeah.

Michelle Wright: And it makes our parents happy, right? Like they- don’t feel like they’re as much of a burden on us because we can sort of jump in and it’s not taking that much time out of our day to put on a, a show that they wanna watch. I had a family where dad had dementia, and really his only joy in life was watching the Cardinals baseball games. and so but daughter lived an hour away.

Yeah. So now she can use JubileeTV to schedule his- TV to turn on, and turn on the baseball game, and it gave her so much peace of mind knowing that for those, you know, two hours of the day, dad was doing something that he enjoyed. But she could- you know, stay at work and d- do her job and not have to like go over to the memory care community to put that on or call the

Kim Barnes: front desk.

Y- for sure. And I think that too, I’ve also noticed too, it saves so much time. Oh, yeah. Because [00:05:00] not only their frustration of trying to have them push buttons and you can’t see what they’re doing and frankly I’ve s- before w- before JubileeTV I would spend a long time- A long time … with trying to FaceTime.

And it’s, you know, like, “Okay, no, hold the phone. He, you know, tr- no, it’s where the camera. That’s what I see.” You know, all of that, and we would both get so frustrated. And now, and it would take a long time, and oftentimes I would have to say Oh, okay, you’re just gonna have to wait until somebody c- one of the care partners comes in or, and ask them, or I’m gonna have to send somebody over because I ju- Yeah

we couldn’t figure it out. And now I can take two minutes and I’ve got it changed and fixed, and it just has relieved so much frustration. Well,

Mike Barnes: sometimes it’s not even two minutes. It’s 15 seconds- For sure … to change the channel to the Tennis Channel or to Hallmark- Right, right … or to whatever it is she needs to watch.

Just the other day we were out of town, we weren’t even at home, and Mom calls Kim and says, “I don’t have anything on my TV. I don’t know what to do.” And it would’ve taken so long to, if I had to call, find somebody [00:06:00] at her assisted living to go in, figure it out. Instead, Kim gets on the phone and within a minute she says, “There you go, Mom.

Do you see it?” “Yeah. Thanks. Bye.”

Kim Barnes: Right. Yeah,

Mike Barnes: It’s so

Kim Barnes: easy. Yeah, so much easier. And I also love when you’re talking about the scheduling of, programs. That’s so great too because I, during football season, for example, my mom loves to watch her football games, and I would have to try to mentally either put it in my calendar or mentally think about, okay, the OU game comes on at 2:00.

I need to remember to call her at 1:45. And instead, now I can just schedule it ahead of time. That way it just pops on, and then I don’t have to, I don’t have to remember to call to make sure she knows it’s on and all of that, which has relieved a lot of stress for me as well.

Mike Barnes: Yeah. I know you’ve seen this firsthand where so many people just see this technology and it helps them so much

Michelle Wright: Yeah, absolutely.

I think the other point you made, Kim, was about trying to FaceTime, and I think especially as a long distance person, when we are concerned about the wellbeing [00:07:00] of our person and I can’t really see what’s going on ’cause all I can see is the top, half of their face when I’m talking to them- Yes

with JubileeTV, I get to see them in their space, right? Yeah. Like, I get to see that living room view, and when I’m only… You know, I’m not visiting as frequently, so just that, kind of being able to see what’s happening in the space, and then likewise, that they can see me on their biggest, loudest screen, right?

And we have closed captions on our video calls. You can add multiple people. It just really makes, to me, it makes it, it’s so accessible, and it is such a deeper connection for Mom when she’s got, you know, grandkids up on the big screen. And just peace, again, peace of mind for me where I’m like, “Okay, I can see her in her space.

Looks good. I can see her moving around a little bit.” Like, it’s just really helpful.

Kim Barnes: Well, and I’ve even used it for, “Okay, can you stand in front of the TV so I can see, you know, are your legs as swollen as they were before?” Or, you know, things like that when she, after her femur break especially, [00:08:00] you know, how are things healing, you know?

so I could actually see her on a much bigger screen than, to your point, of, you know, this part or, you know, trying- Yeah. … to get her to hold the phone to be able to show me her shin or her leg or whatever it is that I’m trying to look at. Yeah. So it has really, helped me immensely. And I think that, as you mentioned, whether you live two hours away, two states away, 2,000 miles away, or literally just across town- it can be really helpful because if you need to go over and make a trip just to change the channel or just to do a quick check-in because they’re not answering their phone, this tool makes it so much easier- to get the answers you need, if you will- Yeah. Yeah … in a shorter way, and be able to connect with them.

Mike Barnes: Yeah. Yeah. A-

Kim Barnes: and you’re always creating new features and things like that to try to help. you know, just since the time that we’ve been, I’ve been using JubileeTV, have seen the new features that have rolled out, so always continually looking for ways to make it even more useful for people who are caring for their parents.

Michelle Wright: Yeah. and the majority [00:09:00] of those new features are coming from feedback from our customers saying, “Okay, we’re using it in this way. Can you add this?” Like the, where you can talk, well, talk to them through the TV while you’re controlling the TV. That was 100% folks just saying- Yeah … “We don’t wanna have a separate phone call.

Can we add this in?” And so we’re always taking that feedback and really trying to learn from our customers and make this experience better and better for folks. Yeah.

Kim Barnes: Any really creative uses that we haven’t thought of?

Michelle Wright: okay, one that I love which hits on the long distance realm is they actually, so they had a family party, but mom couldn’t attend.

She’s out of state. So at the party they set up an iPad, and then Jubilee’s on mom’s TV. So people at the party would stop by the iPad and- Oh … check in with mom, say hi, and so she got to f- sort of feel like she was there. And then everybody would stop by and, you know, say hi on the iPad, and she could see them [00:10:00] up on their, TV.

So she really felt like she didn’t have to miss out just ’cause she couldn’t be there

Kim Barnes: in person. Aw. That’s

Mike Barnes: great. That’s

Kim Barnes: really sweet. Yeah. That’s really sweet. Right, great helping them feel a part of it- even though they were far away. Yeah.

Mike Barnes: So many ways the Jubilee TV helps people be included, and also relieves the pressure of people like Kim.

Michelle Wright: Yes, exactly.

Mike Barnes: Yeah. Michelle, thank you so much for all that you do.

Michelle Wright: Thanks, you too. It was nice to see you again.

Mike Barnes: Jubilee TV is so great to use. I know it’s helped you so much. But it’s not the only thing out there technology-wise that can help everyone from afar.

Kim Barnes: We are also big users of Memory Board, which has been so useful in working with my mom and helping her remember and being able to even just share, things that are going on in our lives.

Mike Barnes: And helping with my dad as he’s doing different appointments and just keeping him happy.

Kim Barnes: So today we’ve, we’re gonna bring in Tyler Zanini of Memory Board. Thanks so much for being with us, Tyler.

Tyler Zanini: Thanks, Kim. Thanks, Mike. Really appreciate it.

Kim Barnes: I use Memory Board every single day, multiple [00:11:00] times. What are the situations that you find…

I mean, I use it for reminding her about wearing her compression socks, about when exercise is, when the one time a week that she needs to go to physical therapy on Tuesdays, her hair appointment once a week. I mean, I just find that the reminders are so helpful.

Mike Barnes: Helps her a lot.

Kim Barnes: Absolutely

Tyler Zanini: Yeah, I think that’s one of the most amazing things is all the different ways families have found to use the memory board and the different things that they can post and send.

And I think families are just always kind of finding, you know, more ways to post different information, whether it’s a reminder or a check-in, a loving message letting somebody know that you’re kind of thinking about them. People love the photos, and they love the ability to add text to the photos for, like, additional context.

I think one of the things we hear a lot about from families is they’ll put up a photo of somebody who’s coming by that day, and then along with the photo they’ll add a little bit of context of who that person is, you know, how they know each other. And that just gives somebody dealing with memory loss a little bit less [00:12:00] anxiety and a little bit less discomfort when that person comes by.

They kind of know, oh, you know, you know, this person’s here and, you know, I’m excited to see them. Yeah … but yeah, we hear everything. A lot of people like to post, you know, funny messages or memes or GIFs. we have a big Facebook community, and everybody’s always exchanging ideas of different things that they’re sharing and, it’s been really amazing to see.

Mike Barnes: Yeah. We found out this weekend, we were out of town, our son got engaged, and to keep the, the grandparents involved w- my dad has a memory board, Kim’s mom has a memory board. Put the pictures up, it’s like they’re there. Yeah. There it is.

Tyler Zanini: they saw the picture and there we go. Brandon- And congrats, and congrats to your son.

So, Yeah. and that, you know, that’s been amazing. I think with people, not only, like, long distance caregiving, but you know, now we’re in, in, in July and kind of the summer months and people traveling, going overseas, going across the country, the ability to use the memory board to kind of stay connected to a loved one- letting them kind of know what’s going on and making them feel a part of the family vacation. I mean, people love that, that sense of connection and kind of the, for the [00:13:00] loved one, kind of that feeling that they know what’s kind of going on day to day when the family’s on vacation.

Kim Barnes: Well, and I think, would you show us what it, just so that, ’cause you’ve got the memory board in front of you.

Show us kind of so people can see sort of what it looks like. It’s

Tyler Zanini: Yeah, absolutely. So I think, you know, what people love about the Memory Board is just the simplicity and kind of the ease of use. You know, at one time it’s just, you know, one message, one photo, large font, easy to see. If there are multiple things that are active on the Memory Board, they’ll kind of rotate through.

And you can control how long something is on there for before it switches to the next one. But I think what we see most families do is they’ll, keep it fairly simple and kind of have, you know, one, two, or three things on there at a time. The goal with Memory Board is things are kind of changing throughout the day, and there’s always kind of new things coming and going.

You know, as y- as you both have seen kind of the, with the experiences of how you use Memory Board, there’s always kind of something new going on. There’s always kind of daily changes throughout the day, and it’s kind of been really helpful to have a way to send those updates and make those changes from anywhere.[00:14:00]

Kim Barnes: What I have found so interesting is that my mom for a long time would call me every single morning because I had a message that said, “Are you wearing your compression socks?” That’s been running for, gosh, a year now to remind her, but it comes on at 7:00 A.M. before she wakes up, and then goes off at, you know, 8:30 because by that time if she doesn’t have them on, then, you know, she’s already dressed.

But it comes on every single morning, and it got to a point where she would call me almost every morning to say, “I’m wearing my compression socks,” just to let me know. She’s answering the question. Yeah. To, you know, because it had a question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I love that, it makes her … In, in some ways I think it can also en- e- empower in a weird way because it’s not me having to nag and remind her, if that makes sense.

Yeah. It’s just the Memory Board saying, “Are you wearing your compression socks?” Rather than me having to … A- and one, if I had to call, if I had to remember to call every single morning, it probably wouldn’t happen. You know, here’s Mom’s Memory Board right now. You know, it shows, you know, the nurses- Yeah

that come in and change the bandage, and she will literally sit on the edge of her bed because I have it on her nightstand, and she’ll flip th- you know, she’ll just sit [00:15:00] and watch a couple things flip through, Yeah … which is fantastic. But I love the be- the, ability to schedule so that just like the compression one, compression socks only comes on for like two hours in the morning every single day.

The exercise one comes on at- sometime around eight-ish for exercise at 10, but it comes on Monday through Saturday because there’s no exercise on Sunday. I love the ability to be able to really control when she’s gonna see it.

Mike Barnes: The scheduling helps so much.

Kim Barnes: Because otherwise, you know, a lot of times when you live in assisted living, every day is very similar.

Yeah. Yep. And easy not to know is it Tuesday or Thursday or Friday, and so when you only see the things that are applicable that day, physical therapy is at 2:00 today versus seeing it, you know, if you saw it on Monday and then on Wednesday it would be potentially be confusing.

Mike Barnes: Yeah.

Kim Barnes: Yeah. But you, but I love that y’all use it with your dad.

Mike Barnes: Yeah, because my dad’s still sharp, so we use it for humor a lot of times.

Kim Barnes: And reminders.

Mike Barnes: and for reminders. My sister is in charge of all of his [00:16:00] appointments and stuff, and puts reminders on there, but I’ll put a happy, we call him Cubby, Happy Cubby Day. I’ll put it up there. I’ll, I’ll- Yeah

joke about my sister being the Bank of Boggs. All kinds of things to where my dad is, like, saying, he’ll call me and say, “Hey, I need something new on my board.” Yeah. Okay. We’ll put something up.

Tyler Zanini: And a lot of families are using it for kind of jokes, laughter, just to put a smile on a loved one’s face and, you know, we absolutely love to see that.

I think one of the most amazing things that I, personally love hearing is when families tell us that their loved one tells them, “Hey, put it on the board. You know, make sure it’s on the board. You know, it’s gotta be on the board. Did you put that on my board?” And that’s how, you know, it’s, just kind of amazing to see just how much, you know, the loved one who’s 80, 90, sometimes 100 years old is really kind of looking at the board every single day throughout the day, and if it’s not on the board, you know, it didn’t kind of happen.

Yeah. And that’s really, we kind of love to hear stories like that.

Tyler Zanini: you know, and the fact that for loved ones, especially and you know, Kim, you mentioned kind of assisted living, the fact that they can attend more events because those, you know, because [00:17:00] you put up a post or let that person know through the memory board, that’s been really amazing to hear just how much more connected the loved one feels ’cause they can attend these events, you know, go, know what’s going on in the community, and just be more active and engaged.

Kim Barnes: Yeah. What are some situations that you’ve heard from families where they say, “Gosh, I wish I would’ve, you know, used, started using this sooner”?

Tyler Zanini: Yeah, absolutely. You know, I think what’s interesting is, like, people, there’s a lot of technology out there for, you know, for older adults, and I think a lot of people initially try to use mainstream consumer products, whether it’s, you know, the Amazon Echos of the world or, you know, in my family’s case we used the Facebook Portal like so many other families.

And I think they just were not designed for older adults. I think as a result a lot of people kind of got a little bit apprehensive and unsure about, you know, technology and how it can support their aging loved one.

but I think what people love about the Memory Board is, you know, just the simplicity and truly that for your loved one they don’t need to do anything.

There’s no buttons to press. There’s nothing to charge. It’s [00:18:00] really just look at it throughout the day. And because of that I think that’s why we hear a lot of families tell us, like, you know, “Wow, I was a little bit nervous. I didn’t think this would work.” And, it’s just been amazing to see just the range of people who are benefiting from the Memory Board.

You know, even we hear stories from families who tell us, like, “Yeah, I, wasn’t sure if my loved one could really read anymore because of their memory loss. And, I learned that, you know, they’re reading the message off the Memory Board every single day.” And, you know, and then, you know, Mike, like you said, if there’s not a message on the board they’re saying, “Where’s my message?”

You know, “What’s going on today?”

Mike Barnes: Gets a little spoiled.

Kim Barnes: Well, a- and I think, too, that it just helps people to be able to know what’s going on. It helps them to know that, you know, to every day’s a little different. And, you know, there are things that are going on that they need to sort of know about.

And I think to your point, whether you live, you know, two miles away and this just saves you some phone calls to remind them, or 2,000 miles away, it can really be useful. and the fact that I can do it just literally get on the app on my phone, schedule it in a few minutes, have, okay, that was, that’s an old one.

She doesn’t need [00:19:00] to know that one anymore so let me just remove that- Yeah … or it’s gonna end. And the fact that, you know, I can add to it, my brother can add to it, other people could add to it if you wanted to. I think that just is what makes it so simple, that as you said, m- my mom doesn’t have to do anything except sit on the side of her bed and watch it, you know?

yeah. and the information I do the inputting and the scheduling. And so I think that, you know, I think she missed a hair appointment the other day and I was like, “Ah, shoot, I forgot to put it on.” She didn’t put it on the, put it on the board. I forgot to update it-” Exactly … ’cause something had changed.

Yeah. So I think it’s- Yeah, put it on the board … it, has been so useful for me not having to feel like I have to be, I have to remember for every single thing, ’cause I’m not going to remember every Friday at a certain time to call her about her hair appointment. It’s just so, it just is, gives me such relief to schedule it and know that it’s gonna be there when she needs it, and to help her get to where she needs to go.

Tyler Zanini: Yeah. And the, goal is really much you need multiple people in the family participate, you know, through the Care Circle. Right. So anybody w- r- regardless of where you are. I [00:20:00] mean, we’ve had people all, all over the country and all over the world really. I mean, I get emails from people who’s tell me, “Yeah, I brought the Memory Board to the Philippines or to Korea or to Egypt,” and, and so we just hear all these stories from all over the world.

And everybody can participate and everybody can send things to the Memory Board regardless of where you are. So yeah, whether you’re the, the primary caregiver and, you know, you’re, close by and you stop by every single day, or, you know, you live far away and you’re not able to see your loved one as much, everybody can participate through the Memory Board.

Mike Barnes: Which is exactly what we do because my sister lives five miles away from my dad. Here I’m 200 miles away. And when I first got it, I thought, “Well, I’m probably gonna wind up using it more because she’s so close.” My sister uses it all the time to remind my dad of dentist appointment today or doctor appointment next week, or you need to- Yeah

do this or you need to do that, which I love because it’s so easy to do. All you have to do is put it on your- your phone, have the app. Exact same thing. I can see what she puts on, she can see what I put on, and it makes it so easy, so it’s a team effort.

Tyler Zanini: Yeah. Yeah, and then just the simplicity.

And then I think, you know, [00:21:00] for, your dad, nothing for, them to kind of learn or to kind of figure out. They just kind of get to look at it throughout the day.

Mike Barnes: Exactly. Yeah.

Kim Barnes: Absolutely.

Mike Barnes: Tyler, thanks so much for all that you do ’cause Memory Board has helped both of us in so many ways.

Tyler Zanini: Well, thank you both. It’s been a great, great partnership with you all, and, you’re one of the first people I talked to when I was thinking about Memory Board, and it- Right … really means so much over the years.

Kim Barnes: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Well, these are two of our favorite tech tools. Yes. Ones that we use daily.

And hope that they will be useful for you as well.

Mike Barnes: Yeah. They’ve helped so, so much in, in both of our lives- in a lot of ways. And hopefully it can help you as well because the technology is out there. Don’t be afraid of it. It can help you a lot.

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