Technology Tips to help our Aging Parents

Transcript of Interview: “Technology Tips to help our Aging Parents”

Mike Barnes:

I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve gotten a phone call from my dad, oftentimes early in the morning, because something’s not working. Maybe it’s his computer, his printer, his iPhone, his iPad—the list goes on. So many times, technology is tough on people.

Kim Barnes:

Absolutely, and especially when you think about the fact that our parents didn’t grow up with this technology as much. I mean, we didn’t really either, but we were younger when it came in. So today, we’re going to talk to Joshua Natinsky, who has a company called Support Sharks, and he works with a lot of seniors who are having some of those challenges. Thanks so much for being with us, Joshua.

Joshua Natinsky:

Of course, thank you for having me.

Mike Barnes:

Yeah, as you heard, I get a lot of questions, and Kim gets a lot of questions like, “My page says I need to refresh the page,” and it’s like, “Okay, so refresh the page.” There are so many little things that come up when you’re used to using technology, you adapt a little bit better, but for our parents, it’s not as intuitive. I’d love to start with just what are the most common problems you see when you’re working with seniors?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, so the most common problem we see is just tangled accounts. Now, everything has been moving to digital alternatives, so people have accounts for everything—from the ones you think of first like their email to more nuanced ones like their oven might be on an account. These accounts all get very tangled, and especially for older adults, keeping track of all of those different passwords and accounts gets complicated. A lot of the work that we do is sorting that out. It’s a great thing to do with your parent: sit down with them, walk through all of their accounts, all of their passwords, and change them if they can’t remember them. That will really streamline the process whenever they go to log into something and just take that stress and confusion away.

Kim Barnes:

So when you’re creating passwords, are there some dos and don’ts? I know we hear so much about needing to use a different password for every single account that you have. Some people like to do that more than others, using password managers or things like that. But what are some of the dos and don’ts when it comes to passwords?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, so some of the dos are: whenever you’re creating a password, you want to use at least 10 to 12 characters. You want uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols. They’ve done extensive studies on this and found that a 12-character password with all four parts takes 62 trillion times longer to crack than a six-character password with only lowercase letters. The number one thing you can do is have a longer password with those four parts.

Kim Barnes:

Even though there are so many people that just don’t like doing that because it’s so hard to remember all of them or even just to take the time to type them in. What do you say to them besides the fact that it takes 62 trillion times more?

Joshua Natinsky:

Coming up with a password system is a great idea if you can handle it. In a password system, you have a unique password for every account by coming up with a base password and then augmenting it slightly for each company or account. Some people use the first letter of the company, some use the first two letters, or some other system they come up with. That’s a good way to keep track of it. Also, password managers have become very common in recent years. Although they come with some cons that you often read about in the news, they have awesome pros where you can have these really complicated passwords that you don’t need to remember and can have a unique one for each account. Those are some of the ways to manage having all these passwords for all these accounts and keeping them unique and complicated.

Mike Barnes:

Well, I just realized that I’m actually a password manager for my father. Instead of typing something in or looking it up on his computer, he just calls me. I’ve got all of his passwords. Is that okay? Is that helpful for us, the children, to just know the passwords of our parents? Don’t you agree?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, so it’s really helpful when they call and say, “What is my Microsoft password?” and you can tell them. Another thing I recommend is writing them down in a password book. It’s not ideal, but it is much better than either not knowing your password, choosing a weak password, or storing it digitally somehow. If you have it in a book, it’s organized and it can be a strong password.

Kim Barnes:

Just a quick shameless plug: the Caregiver’s Key that we created has a section for passwords because of that very reason. Put them in pencil because they’re often going to change. Sometimes there are those accounts that will make you change them periodically whether you want to or not. Having a place to be able to write that down is really important.

Mike Barnes:

Joshua, I have to tell you that the biggest problem that I’ve seen with my parents, with both my mom and my dad—my mom before she went to memory care—is the fact that something, whether it’s the TV, the router on their Wi-Fi, the iPad, or the iPhone, something just isn’t working. They can’t get an app to open or they can’t get the printer to print or something happens. So many times I’m on the phone 200 miles away and I say, “Okay, unplug it and plug it back in,” which usually works. But what else should we do on something like that?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, so obviously restarting it, unplugging it and plugging it back in is the first step. 75% of the time that’ll fix the problem. The rest of the time, it depends on how comfortable you are with that device. If you know that device backwards and forwards, for example, it’s the same TV that you have, then if you can walk them through, press this button then press this, that is helpful. If you don’t know what their TV is or what kind of TV they have, you can look up the steps for it and walk them through that. If you aren’t able to be either in person and they can’t follow your instructions, it’s pretty hard. So I would recommend hopping on a video chat with them, whether that’s FaceTime, Zoom, WhatsApp, and that way they can show you what they’re seeing. You can very clearly say, “Click this, click this,” and you can see what results that generates.

Kim Barnes:

I know just specifically for my mom’s remote control for her TV, I have a picture of it. I have it on my phone so I know exactly where the buttons are. Because a lot of times I’ve looked at it, but I may not remember exactly, “Oh wait, what’s the button on the top left? Does it say source and then it actually says input,” or something like that. When I’m giving her the wrong terms, it’s going to be more confusing.

Mike Barnes:

Same thing with their thermostat.

Kim Barnes:

Yeah, the thermostat. I have a picture of it as well. Going back to passwords a little bit, what are your thoughts about two-factor authentication? Is that an important piece too?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, it’s very important. Two-factor authentication is where a company sends you a code via email, text, or an authenticator app that you have to enter in addition to your password. It is extremely effective. Microsoft has done studies and they found that it blocks 99.9% of attacks. So if you have a strong password and use two-factor authentication, your accounts are very secure. Two-factor authentication does add another layer of complication when logging in, so that’s something to keep in mind. But it is the single best thing you can do to protect your accounts.

Kim Barnes:

So that would be something that at the time of setup, when we’re getting Mom set up on her phone or computer, we need to make sure that we have in place. What are some of those things that we need to be thinking of as the adult child as we’re helping our parents get new technology set up? Things that we need to make sure we have in place.

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, so first of all, you need an antivirus. There are lots of great free options; there are also paid options. That is the number one way to protect a device. Even if your parent clicks on a bad link, downloads a bad file, or does something wrong, it will save them. Another way you can protect against viruses is using backup software. Having consistent backups from the device not only will help you if they get malware, but it will also help if they accidentally delete their files or a natural disaster happens and they lose access to their computer. Or sometimes technology just dies. Having a good backup that regularly updates with any changes they make will be so helpful if anything happens.

The last thing to think about when setting up a new computer or any device is that some operating systems allow you to put it in a sort of limited mode where you can make a user profile specifically for your parent. You can simplify the experience, limit access to certain applications, prevent them from downloading programs—that sort of thing. Depending on how comfortable they are with that technology, that can be a great resource. For example, if they have a flip phone and you make them reluctantly switch to a smartphone, it might be beneficial to keep it simple. On phones, it limits what apps you can use so you’ll have your telephone, your contact book, and maybe maps, and that’s it. On computers, it’s very similar. It can prevent them from downloading files that could be malicious and that sort of thing.

Kim Barnes:

Right, because that sounds like it would be interesting. If it prevents them, like you have to put in a password to download a file or program, then you can talk through whether it’s something they should be downloading.

Mike Barnes:

We have so many people in our group who say, “What can I do to simplify things for my mom or my dad with their remote, their phone, or sometimes with their computer?” Other than what you just said, any other tips that you have for all those things? Is there one good answer that can take care of everything to make things a little bit simpler? Because we have to realize that for all those things, they didn’t come in until recently. Our parents were in their 50s, 60s, 70s, or 80s before they ever got it, so it’s hard for them to get used to these things.

Joshua Natinsky:

Unfortunately, there’s not one answer that fixes everything. But as a general rule of thumb, whenever you are setting something up for your parent or they get a new piece of technology, you can go through and simplify it for them. For example, if they get a new phone, you can go through and remove the apps they don’t need, just to simplify the experience. Same thing with a computer. If they get a new computer, make sure their files are cleaned up, there’s not stuff littered there from previous computers. Really, the simpler, the better. Same thing goes for TVs. Don’t come up with some complicated scheme where they’re going to use this service for this thing and have this other service for these shows. If you can get one package that just has everything in it, that is the easiest.

Kim Barnes:

When I finally got my mom to move to a smartphone using one of my older phones, I pulled off email, internet, and deleted all the apps that I could. The apps that I couldn’t remove, just because they were Apple apps that you can’t remove, I hid them in a folder. That way, when she looks at her phone, she sees phone, contacts, texts, Solitaire—she can play Solitaire. Because it can get confusing when there are so many apps and pages.

That also brings up the issue, I’m getting a little bit worried because it’s now getting to be an older phone. Do you find that there are issues too where, when our parents have old technology, that starts creating problems just in and of itself?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, so a lot of older adults are now 10 to 15 years behind in their technology because their children bought it for them when it was bleeding edge and then kind of forgot about it. That does cause problems because oftentimes they know how to use it, and that’s great, but they will buy a new printer or want to download new software and it simply won’t run because the computer or phone is too old. They obviously don’t need the latest and greatest unless they want it, but it is good to stay with relatively recent technology that’s still being updated by the manufacturer and is still supported by all of the programs and other devices that you want to use with it.

Kim Barnes:

The biggest challenge with my mom’s phone is that she has the last model of iPhone that still has the actual menu button that you push, that’s actually part of the phone, not that you just swipe up. In some ways, I’m just thinking, “Oh my gosh, I don’t know that I want to have to try to introduce that,” because once you get used to something, it’s hard to switch.

Mike Barnes:

It’s hard for my dad to get used to it. He pushed it off for a while.

Kim Barnes:

Exactly. Any words of wisdom on how we can be more patient with our parents?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yeah, really just understanding that they are adapting to this unlike any of us have. My generation grew up surrounded by it, and your generation was around college age when all of this really became mainstream. But they’ve lived their whole life without needing to use this, and now it’s being introduced. Just remembering that and going slow, giving clear step-by-step instructions without using the technical jargon that we all find simple. If someone tells someone to update their OS, they have no idea what that means. So, just using very simple words, “Press this button,” and then they’ll gain confidence and eventually be able to do that process by themselves.

Mike Barnes:

Last question. Not only do our parents get in over their heads, but sometimes it’s the adult children who get in over their heads. Maybe there’s something we don’t understand or we’re nervous about playing with the computer, iPad, or iPhone. We can reach out to something like Support Sharks to get help, but does it always have to be in person? Because we have people all over the country, I assume most of the stuff you do, you can do remotely. How do we go about finding someone in our hometown that can help us? What’s the easiest way to make sure we find somebody who’s as good as you are?

Joshua Natinsky:

Yes, so obviously we do in-person in the Greater Austin, Texas area, but beyond that, we can actually work remotely. We can hop on a Zoom call and have special tools to use our mouse and keyboard to show you something on your computer. We can work virtually, but there are times when you need to be in person. I know there are a couple of other companies like ours scattered throughout the US, and those can be great resources. Also, if you have an Apple device, Apple does classes for free at the Apple Store many times a week. You can find that schedule and see if one of those will address your question. Those are some good resources if we can’t help you virtually, to find someone there who can.

Mike Barnes:

Great ideas. Great tips, Joshua. Thanks so much for joining us. You’ve enlightened us considerably.

Kim Barnes:

Thank you and reminded us that we need to update some of our passwords.

Mike Barnes:

That’s right. Thanks, Joshua.

Joshua Natinsky:

Thank you.

Mike Barnes:

Yeah, other than doing my passwords, it just reminds us all that for our parents, this is kind of new to them, all this stuff. I think about when we got a computer back in the 80s, my dad was in his 40s. I was still young, so it was easy for me to get used to things. But when you’re in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, or you get your first iPhone in your 70s, you’re not used to it. It’s tough.

Kim Barnes:

That’s right. So, get some help if you need it. 

Mike Barnes:

If there are any other topics you’d like us to discuss, please let us know. Parenting Aging Parents.

*This transcript is auto-generated. Please excuse any typos or mistakes.