Quick check-in on your parents

Transcript of Interview: “Quick check-in on your parents”

Mike Barnes: I think all of us, whether you have your parents living close to home or like us, about 200 miles away, worry sometimes. “Oh wait, Dad hadn’t called lately. I wonder if everything’s okay.” 

Kim Barnes: It’s nice to be able to know there’s a way to keep better tabs on them, especially if you’re busy at work during the day. Today, we are talking to Adam Lack with CheckInBe.com. Thanks so much for being with us, Adam.

Adam Lack: Thank you for having me.

Kim Barnes: As Mike mentioned, a lot of times, as the adult child caring for somebody who is older, you want to know they’re okay. But if you’re in the middle of a meeting or have a busy day at work, you might not have the time to call them multiple times. That’s what you found with your father-in-law, isn’t it?

Adam Lack: Yeah, that’s correct. My father-in-law is in his mid-70s, and he’s very independent. He travels a lot. The reason I started building CheckInBe is because we wanted a way to make sure he was okay on his travels, but he didn’t like to be checked in on. He didn’t like people fussing about him. I really wanted to find a solution that worked for both of us—he could feel independent, and we could feel like there was some kind of way of making sure he was okay. That’s where it started, with CheckInBe.

Kim Barnes: So, he was not open to having cameras in his apartment or home or things like that where you’re really monitoring him. Or maybe he didn’t even want multiple phone calls during the day from you?

Adam Lack: Yeah, exactly. He didn’t want phone calls. He was often traveling, so being next to a phone all the time was not ideal. With CheckInBe, it works where you’ve got this time to check in. You don’t have to check in immediately; you can do it on your own schedule within an allotted time. He could do it but not feel like he had to be next to his phone all day.

Mike Barnes: Well, even in today’s world where everybody has a cell phone with them all the time, we’ve found with our kids through the years that when we call to check in, they respond with, “Why? I’m fine,” and then hang up. The same thing sometimes happens with our parents. Whether they’re busy or depending on their personality, they don’t want to be checked in on. They don’t want to talk on the phone to you because they’re busy with other things. It’s good to have that comfort to know Mom and Dad are okay without bothering them.

Adam Lack: Yeah, that’s what it was for us—comfort in knowing something is there to check on him without us having to be around. We wanted other people in the family to know he was okay, so it worked well for us to have a service that would check on him daily without him having to contact us all the time. That’s really the premise of CheckInBe.

Kim Barnes: Walk us through a little bit about how it works.

Adam Lack: CheckInBe sends a daily text message to your loved one. When they get that message, they have one hour to check in. If they don’t check in within the hour, it will alert a pre-selected care circle by text message. If they don’t check in immediately, they’ll get a couple of reminder messages. If they still don’t check in within 10 minutes of the end time, the pre-selected care circle is then alerted to check in on them and make sure everything is okay.

Mike Barnes: It seems like a good tradeoff. I know we have so many people in our community whose parents want to be independent. They want to stay at home; they don’t want to live with you or in independent living. This gives them the independence of being on their own while we know they’re okay.

Adam Lack: Yes, it’s that peace of mind. More people want to live independently and not end up in a home. My father-in-law didn’t see that he was getting older, maybe his memory was declining a bit, and he was physically unable to do some things. We didn’t want to tell him those things necessarily; we wanted him to feel independent.

Kim Barnes: It sounds like this was designed for older adults who are still out driving and traveling, like your father-in-law, and also those living by themselves or with their spouse, whether at home, in an apartment, or in an independent living situation.

Adam Lack: Definitely. It can work in all those situations—living alone, predominantly living alone but with some family visiting. It’s hard to check in every day, and even if family is visiting, a few days might go by without anyone speaking to you. It’s like a backup for those situations where family doesn’t visit often. It fits well with other check-in care services.

Mike Barnes: Have you heard any good stories yet about how it’s helped people, especially the adult children finding out their parents are okay or finding out they aren’t and being glad for the help?

Adam Lack: CheckInBe is fairly new, but we’ve had great feedback. Interestingly, it’s not just people with parents who use it. We’ve seen younger people traveling often using it. We had a truck driver using it to let his family know he was okay while traveling around the United States. We’ve also spoken to people who work in airlines, using it as a way to check in daily. Even college kids use it to check in with their parents.

Kim Barnes: It’s really about creating independence while letting your loved ones know you’re okay.

Adam Lack: Yes, definitely. We’re very clear about what data we keep. We don’t track locations or where you are; it’s simply a text message sent to your phone. We don’t keep tabs on you or watch your every movement, which appeals to people who don’t want tracking, especially younger people.

Mike Barnes: My dad calls me every morning. If he doesn’t call, I hope everything’s okay and give it some time before calling him. Luckily, Kim and I work at home, but if I was in an office and super busy, I wouldn’t have time to call.

Kim Barnes: Mom sometimes forgets to take her phone when she goes to play ping pong or cards. You have to get them in the habit. This is designed for someone comfortable with answering a text message and responding.

Adam Lack: Yes, it suits some people more than others. There are check-in services that do phone calls for those who prefer it. For those used to sending and receiving text messages from family, they’re quite happy to respond. We understand this may be suitable for some more than others.

Kim Barnes: For your father-in-law, it sounds like he didn’t want to talk to people every day. This was a compromise for your family.

Adam Lack: Yes, definitely. He doesn’t want to talk every day. He likes a quick way of checking in. On days he wants to talk more, he can still reach out to us. It’s not replaced that; it’s augmented it with a check-in between those times.

Mike Barnes: Is it one time a day, or can you set it up for multiple times?

Adam Lack: Currently, it works once a day. We’re looking into options for multiple check-ins. We’re working out the best amount of check-ins because it can get too much. We’re also considering other options like WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger to give people more ways to check in.

Kim Barnes: Whatever it takes to give adult children or their loved ones peace of mind, knowing everything is okay.

Adam Lack: Yes, absolutely.

Mike Barnes: Adam, thank you so much. You’re helping lots of people, and we love hearing what you’re doing.

Adam Lack: Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

Kim Barnes: There’s that balance. Some people don’t want to be bothered much, and some like to talk all the time. This gives the adult child comfort that their parent is fine and that the parent doesn’t feel intruded upon.

Mike Barnes: Exactly. If there’s any other topic you’d like us to discuss, please let us know at Parenting Aging Parents.

*This transcript is auto-generated. Please excuse any typos or mistakes.